Did you know that presence is the foundation for mental health? Keep reading to find out our favorite psychological techniques for spiritual presence and how you can maintain mental wellness by showing up for all emotions—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Here’s what you’ll learn from this article:

1. Why presence is the foundation for mental health.

2. Two easy (and proven) techniques to stay present for difficult emotions.

3. 3 resources.

Let’s get to it!

WHERE PSYCHOLOGY MEETS SPIRITUALITY

Presence is the foundation for mental health. We know this sounds like a broad, sweeping statement, but hear us out. 

We’re not saying that presence will completely free us from all difficult feelings, emotions, thought patterns, etc.

What we’re saying here is that when we show up fully for the present moment—no matter the ego’s interpretations of its “goodness” or “badness”—our emotional set point moves closer to the feelings we most desire. 

Feelings like joy, peace, positivity, and fulfillment. 

And we move through the “difficult” stuff more effortlessly, more fluidly, and more quickly. 

We prolong our suffering by trying to avoid it. 

MAKE IT REAL

Here’s a personal example from Ashley:

“I was reminded of the above truth during the months that followed the birth of my daughter, Sloane. 

The anxiety I’d come to believe was a thing of my past—something I’d learned to manage with lifestyle choices, including diet, exercise, and meditation—re-emerged postpartum with greater force than ever before. 

For many months, it consumed me. It was heavy, dark, overwhelming, and so, so lonely. I’d never felt so alone in my entire life. The profound love I felt for Sloane somehow only magnified the shame I had about being so deeply sad and scared. 

The harder I tried to find the light, the darker my world became. 

It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to feel hopeless that I finally began to feel hopeful again.

In opening my arms to the darkness, the light began to trickle in. 

It was a slow process. 

One with lots of setbacks, detours, and difficult-to-navigate roads. But a journey filled with lessons that I’m now incredibly grateful for. 

Having said that, had I allowed myself to feel my feelings without shame from the get-go, I would have moved through the same lessons much more quickly and a lot more effortlessly.

It was my ego’s belief that “this shouldn’t be happening” that perpetuated and deepened my suffering. 

And I was reminded yet again that the only way around is through.”

TECHNIQUES TO MOVE THROUGH

Lucky for us, there are certain research-based psychological techniques that both encourage mindful presence and allow us to take the edge off some of the more tough-to-tolerate emotions. 

Friends, this is where psychology and spirituality meet. 🙇🏻‍♀️ 🙏🏻

When you’re struggling to stay present for the ickier stuff in life, give these techniques a try.

There’s no silver bullet, but these techniques help soften the blow while also anchoring us to the present moment.

Grounding

Grounding techniques orient our point of focus to the here and now by engaging our physical senses. Grounding is particularly helpful for moments of heightened anxiety, racing thoughts, etc.

Beyond eliciting feelings of relaxation, grounding techniques have the added benefit of allowing the brain to reprocess thoughts (even traumatic ones) in a more rational, peaceful manner. 

And so using grounding techniques when you’re feeling anxious anchors you to the present moment and rewires the brain. It’s for this reason that psychologists sometimes refer to the present moment as “the resilient zone”. 

It’s where all the meaningful “work” happens—the place of breakthroughs.

Examples of grounding techniques:

Clap it out. Close your eyes and clap your hands several times. Stop. Notice the tingling sensation that lingers in your hands. Repeat.

Sensory bowl. Put items of different textures (e.g., rice, sand, beans, etc.) into a bowl or container and dip your hands into it. Notice the different sensations and sounds.

Loving eye contact. Look into the eyes of a person or pet you love and trust. Notice the feelings of safety and comfort this elicits. 

Chair grounding. Sit in a chair and close your eyes. Feel the sensation of the chair supporting your body, noticing each point where your body comes into contact with the chair.

Warm shower. Take a warm shower and notice the sensation of the water rushing over your skin. 

Aromatherapy. Diffuse calming, supportive essential oils. Close your eyes and notice the scents and how they make you feel.

Comfort list. Create a list of memories of times in which you felt safe, supported, and loved. Recall, in as much detail as possible, the sensations you experienced—scent, sight, touch, taste, sounds, etc. For example, a memory of baking cookies with a loved one. 

Energy sensing. Close your eyes and draw your attention to the sensation of energy buzzing throughout your body. It can help to focus on one area when you’re first getting started with this technique—e.g., focus on the sensation of energy in only the hands or feet.

Mental tracing. While lying down in bed at night, close your eyes and mentally trace an outline around your body. Moving slowly and capturing as much detail as possible in the outline.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing—aka “belly breathing”—is a powerful tool in moments of heightened fear and anxiety.

Most of us unconsciously default to shallow, shortened chest breathing, which allows us to live but not to thrive.

In diaphragmatic breathing, we breathe slow, deep, nurturing breaths. Breaths so deep that we can actually see the belly rise and fall. 

This causes our diaphragm to nuzzle up against the vagus nerve—the most powerful parasympathetic nerve of all. 

When the vagus nerve is stimulated, it signals the brain to release a potent combination of calming neurotransmitters that interrupt the body’s fight or flight response.

Believe it or not, this simple technique is so powerful it’s capable of stopping panic attacks dead in their tracks.

How to belly breathe: Sit or stand up straight. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4, allowing your belly to expand. Hold for 4, exhale for a count of 8 through an open mouth. Repeat until calmed and satisfied. 

Just three belly breaths a few times each day is enough to make a HUGE difference in overall stress levels!

INTENTION

I am present for all that comes my way. I move through my emotions without judging them.

DO THIS TODAY

When something challenging or stressful happens and you find yourself wanting to tune out or turn away, use one of the above grounding techniques to re-anchor yourself to the present moment.

WRITING PROMPT

Which emotions tend to pull you out of the present moment? How does it feel when you challenge yourself to stay present for them?

3 RESOURCES

Grounding Techniques with therapist Kati Morton

The Science Behind Belly Breathing (short explanation)

Anxiety and Stress Relief with Diaphragmatic Breathing (in-depth explanation)