What is the Ego? What isn't the Ego?
The elusive ego. Below we discuss what the ego is, what it isn’t, and how to call it out.
“The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent. Cleverness pursues its own little aims. Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected.”
Here’s what you’ll learn from this article:
What the ego is.
What the ego isn’t.
3 resources.
Let’s get to it!
WHY CARE ABOUT THE EGO?
We’ve briefly touched on the ego in past articles, but now we’re diving deep into it.
Why?
Because awareness of the ego is the most powerful agent for spiritual change.
And perhaps, most importantly, it isn’t until we become aware of the ego and its associated illusions that we’re able to fully align with our purpose and authentically offer our gifts to the world.
Powerful stuff.
FYI, if you haven’t already read it, we strongly encourage you to read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth*. It’s our go-to when it comes to ego awareness and is a life-changing, transformational book in general.
EGO: THE ILLUSORY SELF
Oftentimes, when we think of “ego”, the stereotypical ego-maniac comes to mind.
Yet for the sake of our conversations here, we’re going to ask that you release the more psychologically formed idea of the ego in favor of a far more meaningful understanding of it.
Each and every one of us has an ego. In fact, that ego of ours is in the driver’s seat of our minds most of the time, most especially if we’re not consciously aware of its existence.
To fully illuminate our understanding of the ego, it helps to also mention the ego’s counterpart: the higher self.
If the term ‘higher self’ doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to pick another descriptor—e.g., intuition, soul, awakened self, Source energy, etc.
At the most fundamental level of differentiation, ego is fear-based and the higher self is love-based.
But let’s get one thing straight before continuing...
There’s no need to demonize the ego (although the ego, itself, will try to do this in an effort to further strengthen its identity—tricky trickster).
As Tolle so clearly articulates, “The ego isn’t wrong, it’s just unconscious.”
The ego makes many errors in its attempt to understand reality, the most fundamental of which is the illusion of self.
The belief that “I am my thoughts, I am my body, I am [insert x identity here].”
It can seem as if the harder we try to understand the ego, the more elusive our understanding of it becomes.
This is because we’re attempting to understand the ego through the guise of the mind, and the mind, itself, is powered by the ego.
We find it can be helpful to read through a laundry list of the ego’s characteristics in order to grasp just how vastly it presents itself in life.
Here’s our ongoing list of who, exactly, the ego is and how it tends to manifest…
CHARACTERISTICS OF THE EGO
The ego is overly identified with self and under-identified with being.
The ego seeks separation—me vs. them—and builds its identity on its perceived separation from others.
“The conceptual ‘I’ cannot survive without the conceptual ‘other’.” —Eckhart Tolle
The ego says, “I am this” or “I am that” or “I am X, Y, Z”. The higher self says, “I am”.
The ego’s existence is rooted in its identification with things and forms, most especially thought forms.
This is dangerous because all things/forms are fleeting and impermanent. It’s this realization that produces a persistent sense of insecurity within the ego (even if it appears outwardly confident).
The ego will attach itself to a specific identity or role to the point of complete close-mindedness. It doesn’t care what it identifies with as long as it has an identity.
For example: I am a psychologist, I am a teacher, I am a businesswoman, I am a democrat, I am a republican, I am liberal/conservative, I am intelligent, I am spiritual, I am religious, I am shy, I am outgoing, I am funny, I am someone who practices yoga, I am someone who volunteers, I am someone who meditates, I am a bodybuilder, I am a truth-speaker, I am an advocate, I am a mother, I am a father, I am a Christian, I am intelligent, I am anxious, I am rich, I am poor, etc.
“Whatever you identify with turns into ego.” —Eckhart Tolle
The ego loves to complain. In fact, the act of complaining strengthens the ego.
The ego manifests at the individual level as well as the collective level—e.g., cultures, countries, political parties, religions, etc. can form a collective ego because of the identities and sense of separation they foster in some.
Whenever you feel superior or inferior to someone else, you can be sure the ego is at work.
The ego loves its problems. Problems are part of the ego’s identity, and thus, it seeks no end to them.
The ego has a constant need to define itself. It fears not knowing who it is without these distinctive boundaries. It must remain separate from others in order to see itself.
The ego loves to do and doesn’t care much for being. In fact, the ego is everything that isn’t ‘being’.
Ego = small (limited, illusory) me. Higher self = limitless (real) me.
The “small me” seeks security, fulfillment, etc. in transient, fleeting things.
The limitless me seeks Being over wanting and knows that fulfillment is found not within the attainment of wanted things but within Presence.
INTENTION
I am so much more than my limited identities. I am whole. I am complete. I am one with the Universe.
DO THIS TODAY
Begin to notice the various ways the ego tends to manifest in your everyday life. What are its strongest identities? What are its strongest beliefs? What are the boundaries it speaks of to distinguish itself from “others”?
WRITING PROMPT
Journal about the above. How does the ego present itself in your everyday life? What are its favorite roles and identities? How does its attachment to these identities and roles limit your perceptions and enhance a sense of separation in your life?
3 RESOURCES
Did the Universe Make a Mistake with the Ego?
The End of the Ego: Awakening by Eckhart Tolle
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